The Pledge.

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 00:00:41 GMT

The words danced out of his mouth. Every movement he made was sensual and alluring. A loud roar exploded from the crowd as he caressed his own skin. Then came a shriek of anger as the vocalist bean thrashing himself around, and soon falling to the floor. Blood matted itself to his hair, and ran across his pained face, yet he refused his own limits. After a final growl, he slammed the microphone to the floor, and staggered off stage. He began to heave. His blonde, sweat damp hair fell before his mocha brown eyes, and his glistening tan stomach pushed inwards, as if trying to force everything out. His legs began to shake and his head felt dizzy. Kyo quickly grabbed onto the side railing and began to vomit profusely. He fell to his knees in his own pool of vomit. Yet, the gagging continued, however, this time, blood began to spill from the singer's lips. Distraught and exhausted, Kyo collapsed to the floor gasping for breath.

Kyo opened his eyes, after what seemed like a long time to him. His eyes shut quickly as the light burned Reopening them, he adjusted to the yellow fire and his surroundings. The blurred figures began moving around and he could hear voices. "Mao! Mao! He's awake!" Shelly shook Mao's hand, snapping him from his thoughts. "Shelly?" Kyo slurred in a slow whisper. Kyo sat up and reached his tattooed arms towards her. Shelly quickly walked over and embraced him. "Kyo, honey, how do you feel?" she asked with a quick voice and watery eyes. "I feel fine...am I not?" He replied confused by her sadness. "Mao stopped by to see you." Shelly motioned for him to come over. Mao's spiked, dirty blonde hair was now flattened, and his make-up covered eyes were swollen and filled with a new kind of sorrow. "I thought you guys were on tour?" Kyo asked taking a sip of water "We were until I received a phone call stating you were in the hospital." Mao tried to smirk, but failed horribly, and looked down at his shoes. "Why the sad faces? I'm okay, I'm just worn out." "Thats not exactly it Kyo." Mao's voice rose. "Then what!" Kyo's tone rose from irritated to angry. He looked over at Shelly. "Tell me what's wrong! Shelly tell me!" "Kyo I-" "Mom died!" Mao blurted. Kyo's eyes softened, and his clenched fists relaxed. He rested himself up against the bed's pillows. "She died last night, at home." Mao paused, allowing himself to take a shaky breath. "Her heart gave out." Shelly could feel the atmosphere turn to a dark and tense one, she reached out towards Kyo's hand, but he jerked himself away. He tore the monitors from his skin, which left red circle makrs on his toned body. He then pulled himself from the bed and furiously stomped out of the room. "Kyo, you can't leave!" Mao roared, grabbing his brother's shoulders, trying to turn him around. "Oh, yes I can, Mao! Watch me!" "You have moms disease, and if you don't stop what you're doing, you are going to die!"

Kyo stopped in his tracks. Kyo reached for his beating heart, but he then began slamming his palm against it as hard as he could. "No! Kyo, stop! Kyo, stop hurting yourself!" Shelly reached for his wrists and pulled his hands away from his chest. Kyo wrapped his arms around her, falling to he floor in the process. He buried his face into her abdomen, clinging to her like a child to its' mother Mao knelt down beside them and placed his left hand on Kyo's back, then attacked himself to his brother. The firm grip of misery shrouded them all from the actions happening around them. Kyo was the first to stir. "How bad is it?" his raspy voice cracked. "Kyo," Mao hesitated, then sniffled, "you're going to have to have surgery, which means you won't be able to continue with Dir En Grey-" "I will not quit my band, I will not quit on them, and I sure as hell will not quit on my fans!" he shouted at Mao. "You of all people should understand that!" "For God's sake Kyo, for once in your life listen to Shelly and me! You are going to die if you go without surgery! You won't be able-" before Mao could finish, Kyo rose from Shelly's grasp and stomped down the hallway defeated.

Kyo isolated himself from everyone. He felt powerless, almost like a cripple who has been told he will never be able to walk again. Kyo sat on his bed with his photo albums, and art books, strewn about. He glanced at his art books and skimmed through them, looking at all of the portraits he did of Shelly, and his friends. A small smirk spread across his lips but quickly faded when a sinister thought surfaced his mind. He grabbed his lyric booklet and opened to a random page. His eyes fixated on it. The words began to come clearly to him as the pencil glided across the paper. When he finished scribbling down his thoughts of despair, he began to sing it to himself.

"Why is the regret still running? Somewhere far away the voice of a promise, it cannot be heard anymore. Still guessing shapes, it disappears, even now, his heart is taken away and the scars from the chain burned on the voice that I had hated, here, alone."

A tear slid down his paled cheek. Kyo picked up an album that was dedicated to Shelly ad him. He caressed the pictures, gently, as if she was really there. He was going t miss her. The long luscious pink air with the black streaks, almost like a thick blackened rainbow, her silky white skin, and the beautiful sea blue eyes that could make anyone swoon. He felt as if he was betraying everyone: his fans, his band, Mao, Shelly and even himself. He loved all of them, yet having this disease made him feel fearful and abruptly thrown out of happiness and into the pits of Hades. Even Mao, who could usually make him laugh, couldn't bring a smile to his beautiful features. Kyo knew Mao was right, and he knew he had to go through with the operation. However, deep down he knew that there wasn't much hope for him. Mom had the surgery about four months ago, and she ended up passing away, even though she claimed to be feeling better. He didn't want to do that to his family and friends. He didn't want them thinking he was okay, when really he was just going to depart this life and abandon everyone he knows and loves.

Kyo tried everything to keep his mind from this agonizing pain. Nothing helped. He then remembered the gift he had for Shelly in his desk drawer. Kyo paced a little bit before retrieving the gift. The ring. The ring that was going to bind them together forever. He ran through his thoughts on how he was going to propose, but now those plans will never be revealed and he would never have the chance to be the father Shelly always talked about him being. His face filled with distress as he placed the ring back into its blue, velvet box and back into the drawer where it would never be worn. Kyo grabbed the notebook he had left on his bed with his writing on it, and decided to call it, "The Pledge."

"Dir En Grey, you're on in ten!" The stage hand said popping into the boys' dressing room. "I hate that guy?" Kaoru stated in more of a question tone then an insult. Usually, Kyo would say something like that to get the boys motivated, but not tonight. They all noticed something was wrong, but hesitated to ask. "We better get ready." Die's voice broke the silence. "Wait, guys, I need to tell you something." Kyo's already dying heart leaped into his throat, as the nervousness began to take over. "I have, I have a heart disease, and I'm pretty sure after tonight's performance, I won't be able to continue." He paused. He adverted his eyes from the guys, to staring at te floor. "I'm...sorry." He turned around quickly so the boys wouldn't see his tears stain his cheeks. "You're not going to die are you, Kyo?" Toshiya raised his hands to his trembling lips. Usually Toshiya was chipper and playful, always picking on Kyo's 5'0 height compared to his 5'8. He would almost always have a toothy smile on his round face. Shinya placed his painted hands on Toshiya's shoulders. Generally, Shinya would be in the dressing room perfecting his strawberry blonde locks, and would always accentuate his feminism yet manly looks. As always, the spunky red headed Die would always be at his side to try and mess him up or just to tease him, even though Die had not yet perfected his fire red Mohawk, and not even now the gorgeous smile that was usually spread across his painted lips would even lift. Last but not least Kaoru would always give the stage hand hell; of course, his characteristic features would intimidate the poor man. The strong, thick structure of his bone line and the dark brown eyes that wouldn't show raw emotion would even glare. "I don't know, Tochi," was his reply. "Don't lie to us, Kyo." Kaoru's voice was firm, yet tender. "Yeah, I'm supposed to be having surgery right now, but I decided that I wanted to end everything that I'am with something I love doing best." The room fell silent, except for the sound of desolation showing on their faces. Each of them filled with grief. None of them ever imagined losing someone they loved and cherished the most, they never thought they would lose their friend, their brother, and the only Kyo they had ever known. After a few moments of silence they embraced Kyo one at a time before heading out onto the small stage, with a big crowd. The sound of the "DEG" chant lightly lifted the heavy hearts of the miserable atmosphere.

"Pill it together, guys, hands in." Kyo said giving the best smile he could, while wiping away his tears of sorrow. "Let's put on an amazing last show." Shinya replied, putting his hand on Kyo's fickle hands. "Ai ooza!"

The lights switched off, and the crowd screamed. They wailed even louder when four bodies walked onto the darkened stage. Kaoru, Shinya, Toshiya, and Die all took their places. Walking out last, Kyo strode towards the box cage he always stood on to feel taller then the rest. Elegantly, he removed his black Adidas sports jacket to reveal his inked body, and he placed his vacillating hands on his face and pulled at his skin. Artistically, he began to wave his arms and twirl his body around in a sexual manner and then placed his index finger to his full lips. He breathed into the microphone.

"Shhhhhhhhhhh."

The crowd did as requested and hushed their voices. A high pitched tone escaped from his lips as his heart began to beat faster and as the tears started to form in his dying eyes...he began to sing.

"Naze ni rinen ha haru haruka tooi yakusoku no koe mou kikoe yashi nai sa, this is my pledge to you."

Uroboros.

The Pledge.